Monday, September 26, 2011

September 26, 2011

THE FIRST EPISTLE OF
HALE THE ELDER TO THE PHOENICIANS

Hale, the servant to the people of Iowa, under the direction
of President Jergensen of the house of Des Moines 7th Branch.
2 Grace be unto you, and peace, I'm thankful upon every
remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you
making request with joy.
3 For your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now.
4 Behold, the time is past but is not far distant that Elder Grow
was moved upon by the Spirit, on the 22nd day of the 9th month,
during the reign of President Jergensen.
5 And lo, a stirring began to take place, not a stirring of heart
or mind, but within his suitcase; for he had many belongings
unto him and they all needed to fit within.
6 Much time was spent gathering provisions for his next calling
in the wilderness, for he left with swiftness from the land of Des
Moines and traveled eastward into the wilderness until he was
in the boarders of the land Illinois.
7 Now the people of Illinois found favor in his sight, for he was
round about the cities of Pontiac, for this is all we have been told
unto us of this great man.
8 How is it that one should leave and another not take his place?
Wherefore another was called from the plains of Billings, Montana.
9 For he was restless in heart and mind and was commanded to
leave all personal affairs and depart eastward by plane until he
reached the land, yea even this land, a land of much rain
and wild corn plants of great height and polyester ties.
10 Yea he was called to the urban wilderness of Des Moines 7th
branch after the manner of his father Elder Hale, who was fruitful
and did have many posterity.
11 Behold Hale begot Purcell and Wilson, and Wilson begot
Christensen, thus his generation was two fold with two sons and
one grandson.
12 And it came to pass the mission did wax strong.
13 Now we see that my strength was not of myself, but from the
people of Phoenix, yea, many provisions were sent not only in letters,
but in boxes and e-mails.
14 And thus I did take courage in my calling and continued to
cry repentance unto the people of Iowa, not alone, but also to the
east district of Des Moines, for we had many with us consisting
of two spanish sisters and four elders and I was called to be their
leader.
15 We did see that the provisions were needed in order to make
my journey three more months in this land, and many thank you's
are sent to you for my support.
16 And it came to pass that Elder Purcell is large in
stature; yea much more than any other companion seen before,
for he is 6'6" and shook the apartment with every step, for he
weighed 330lbs.
17 Yea, he was truly a force to be reckoned with, a man that
did fill doorways and put primary kids in awe...Therefore he will
be perfect for service at Brother Cluff's house.
18 For Brother Cluff has mountains of earth and said unto us,
yea, fill my garden with this earth, for the waters in the rainy
season have washed it away, and lo I desire to plant again.
19 So we collected our might and said unto the mountain,
"Remove", and it was removed...slowly.
20 For we have seen many miracles thus far with our
investigators, and we did await an awkward silence 20 minutes
as we asked T to pray and waited on our knees, and she prayed.
21 And lo, we were recently called upon from the distant land
of zone leader to enlighten us we will no longer have a car in
this land, yea, the land of my death, Des Moines 7th branch, and
were stricken with sadness that our whole frames did quake
and tremble, but we know it is from the mission office that
it is desired of us and we will take courage once again with
our new bus passes.
22 May my love be unto you all, amen.
-Elder Hale

2 comments:

Roxanne Hale said...

Where does this kid learn to write these things? I was laughing the whole way through hahaha :)

Andymann said...

That's awesome!